7 Signs of a Psychologically Immature Partner

It is impossible to build a healthy relationship with a person who thinks like a child in their 30-40s. Such people believe that everyone around should love and take care of them as well as give emotional or domestic support.

 

An immature person has grown up but has not become psychologically independent. Such a person continues to depend on the opinions of others, seek support in their partners, beg for attention, admiration, and love. 

 

They didn’t get enough love in childhood. They were either too much patronized or rejected, having got a lot of fears and complexes.

Anyway, let’s list the sure signs of psychological immaturity that you should pay attention to. Unless, of course, you do not want to be an eternal donor, “mom,” or “dad” to your soul mate. For example, girls from Russian are ready for dating, but they don’t want to become babysitters for their partners.

1. Total irresponsibility:

 

Immature people love this game: to promise a lot, agree on something or borrow, and then disappear as if they have nothing to do with the issue. In their opinion, they owe nothing to anyone, and they are not responsible for anything and refuse to experience guilt.

 

But on the contrary, they have a beef with the world. They think something like, "I am special and important, but the world does not understand me." Those around are to blame for their failures, loneliness, and stuff. 

 

Therefore, they have so many complaints against partners, attempts to remake, and blame them for all sins. They don't want to start with themselves to change the situation for the better.

2. Freeloading:

 

It is another unpleasant feature of immature people. They are used to using their loved ones as a life resource who will care for them, deal with their problems, support morally and financially, and even provide for their domestic needs. 

 

All around must put themselves in their shoes, protect their psyche, give in to them every time they have a dispute as well as accept their weaknesses, and forgive. 

 

However, they do not make such demands on themselves. Such people are searching for a parental figure who can be blamed for their own problems and emotional instability. Often, they have lovers and use them as a backup plan if the first partner gets tired, refuses to support, or runs away. 

3. Inability to express emotions:

In a sense, an immature person does not understand their feelings. Shame, envy, love, and fear are suppressed, covered with the help of psychological defenses (depreciation, denial, rationalization, regression, projection on others). "I’m not angry. 

 

You are making it up!" It’s hard to get true desires out of such people. They consider it a weakness to talk about their feelings and directly ask for something. To achieve the desired, they resort to manipulation. 

 

Thus, they may play on a sense of conscience, guilt, resentment, or use ultimatums. Having not got what they want, they easily become aggressive, start screaming, humiliating. And they never ask for forgiveness because they do not know how to admit their mistakes. 

4. Impulsiveness:

If your partner never finishes what they have started, rushes from one decision to another, and constantly revises their values, interests, and habits, then most likely, they are immature. 

 

Immature people build their lives depending on their mood – today they love you, tomorrow they will not. Having decided on a difficult step, they easily change their mind. Even minor difficulties frighten and annoy them. It’s normal for them to spend all their money on wishlist, and then take loans for food. 

5. Codependence:

 

Psychologically immature people cannot stand loneliness; therefore, they are trying in every possible way to stick to others – a loved one and the circle of their friends. Because of this, they can become the shadow of their loved ones, and live their lives, abandoning their true self and needs.  

 

Such a merger does not go unnoticed. An immature person becomes a capricious and extremely irritable person. 

 

They require care and gratitude for things that no one asked for. They can tolerate betrayal, beatings, and insults, in every possible way justifying the disrespectful attitude of the partner.

 

6. Gaslighting:

 

"I was just joking." “Turn off your imagination. I didn’t mean that!” "No one will love you except me." All these words are pronounced by people who want to completely control their partners, using all possible means. They can intimidate, impose their opinions, devalue the feelings and desires of a loved one, question his (her) maturity, and adequacy.

 

In such relationships, physical abuse is replaced by a psychological one, which is difficult to see or prove. A toxic partner destroys the self-esteem of the other one, forcing a person to doubt themselves and their emotions as well as imposing fears and complexes, which they use to their advantage.

7. Infantilism:

 

Immature personality is noticeable and recognizable by the desire to play the role of a child. They put on teenage clothes, listen to rebellious music, and communicate with much younger people. 

They are afraid of a serious relationship. Marriage, career, the birth of children seems to them pointless. Infantile personalities do not want to grow up, and they often change sexual partners, workplaces, and live in their fantasies and dreams. Girls can intentionally speak in a childish voice, look for a “daddy” who will satisfy all their needs. 

As you can see, immature people do not know how to make an equal contribution to relationships, accept a partner as they are. They are afraid of responsibility, adult problems, loneliness. They are looking for the same co-dependent partners who are ready to serve their neurosis. It is up to you to decide whether you want to carry this burden or wait for a worthy person.

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